Why does failure look so bad? There is but one cause of failure and that is the person in the mirror who represents you on the worst days.
Failure can be devastating but it is fixable
The harshest critic in failure is naturally yourself. You look back on a journey and what you could have done or even should have done
to avoid the downfall that has such crushing effects. Some cry, others drink and maybe there are those that punch a few walls but failure hurts.
Failure comes in different packages from simple to extreme. You may get dropped from the football team, and fail an exam right through to failing in business. The hurt is the same and overcoming it takes a similar route.
How do you manage to fail and who can you blame?
life's decisions are made by us for us. We make choices to do the hard yards or waste the distance on things that don't matter.
Stand in front of the mirror and ask yourself these critical questions;
Did I do enough to be a success?
Could I have tried harder?
How many people do I blame for my failure? ( the answer is one)
What don't you like about yourself?
Are you a positive or negative person
Can you change yourself
When you failed did you continue or give up
Are you ready to change?
Quit blaming everyone else
Your parents didn't care, your partner doesn't help, the gods are against you, you were bullied when young and all the other things we can dream up.
The truth is that they are in the past and lamenting them changes nothing. You may want to confront your demons of the past and that is a proactive move designed to break free of the torment and start afresh. But continually laying blame elsewhere is just negatively avoiding the truth. You are in control of your current and future life and dragging past baggage on the journey is not helpful. It weighs you down and clouds your decision process.
The sooner you can quit the cloak of failure and don the superman tights the greater your recovery.
Become comfortable within your skin
If you look at yourself and recognise flaws that others see and acknowledge them you have the opportunity to change.
Maybe you drink too much, talk too much, don't listen or even become a no-all in a conversation. Are you just trying to prove you are better than you are and hoping people think you are the one?
Being yourself is a hard task, you have nothing to prove other than you are present in the moment so putting on something that is not you will always be seen as false. Trying to be someone else is hard work that just takes the effort away from the real you.
Overcoming failure is the Hero moment
I just watched a cricket match between South Africa and Australia. David Warner an Aussie had previously been banned for a breach in South Africa and was currently in poor form for this test. People were screaming for him to be dropped but Warner said he had cleared his demons, got over the past and was ready to succeed, The past was history and he wanted to move on. The result was a double century in a batting display rarely seen.
Steve Jobs was sacked from Apple, and Elon Musk was sacked from Paypal but they put their demons in a box and came back stronger than ever.
The point is they did not let a setback define them. They came back stronger and better and went on to achieve far greater results than they would have without a learning curve.
They all had things to change within themselves when they looked in the mirror and instead of blame they recreated a better them.
Why does failure look so bad or is it just a step to success
Failure looks bad because it stops growth
We all fail at something every day, it is part of life and learning from it is part of growth. No one is invincible it is how we act that makes the difference and separates the winners from the losers.
I have two friends that had failed businesses, both confident entrepreneurs that had setbacks through no fault of their own. One had his business burn down the other a head Franchise failure. They both gave in. The impact was too great and neither ever recovered yet they had all the ability in the world.
Failure is an opportunity to come back and be a better you. Believe me, I have been there and wiped out by a property disaster so I really walk the talk.
We all have choices to make
We all get presented with choices every day. The difference is what we do with them that matters. A problem exists when we continue to make the same mistakes and continually fail to learn from them. That is when we really need to look into our objectives and reasons why we operate on that level.
I could have been a great musician but I failed to learn Music. My future was as an artist but I failed to learn art. You can continue to think of examples where you simply failed to make the effort. It is far easier couch surfing than applying yourself to a future good.
Lack of effort provides an excuse to fail. Only you can fix that.
Conclusion
There is always a failure, it is how you handle it that matters. Thomas Edison found several thousand reasons why a light globe would not work before he found the one that did. He could well have given up anywhere in the journey and be remembered as a failure. But no, he went on until he succeeded and is remembered as a hero.
I wrote this after reading a book by Ant Middleton the SAS soldier that became a TV celebrity. Ant had a lifetime of facing failure even doing a term in prison but managed to overcome all the obstacles and go on to lead a great life, Failure is going to happen. It is how you adapt that is the difference.
